Story Of A Recovery #1: Light Sensitivity & Morning Imagination Exercise

About a month ago, I realized that, for some time already, my body had been showing symptoms of Fibromyalgia, Polyarthritis and Adrenal Fatigue again: muscle, nerve, and joint pain, headaches, fatigue, brain fog, irritability, insomnia, regular anxiety and panic attacks etc.

Mid April, after taking a freelance job and giving it up unfinished for the first time in my life, I realized that my body is suffering a lot, and I need to start listening to it more closely again.

So, I did that and started to adjust my daily life to help it heal.

Today is May 21, 2018, my body is feeling better and more balanced but by far not all symptoms are gone completely.

That means there is still some recovery period ahead of me.

Today, I decided to start posting about my experience and the lessons learned in the hope that those posts might help somebody else to find healing or at least some relief and empowerment.

Here it goes.

Today, I woke up at around 8 am. My room felt full of bright light.

It has a huge window to the East. And mornings have been very sunny lately. I am using 4 curtains to dim the sunlight, but, right now, that’s not enough for my body.

A couple of days ago, I started using a light scarf as an eye cover while sleeping. I thought of sewing a proper eye blind but the scarf works well enough.

Ear plugs are my friends for a long time already. I really love my neighborhood, but it’s a densely populated one. And, sometimes, one of my youngest kids just makes too much noise for my sensitive nerves not to wake the body up before time.

First thing, that I do every morning (when I don’t forget or have to help my body to deal with an anxiety attack the moment it wakes up), is imagining myself going to sleep after the new day is over, happy and satisfied with how it went, no details.

As soon, as I can feel the happiness and satisfaction in the body, I stand up, cautiously take off my eye cover and replace it with dark eye glasses to let my eyes adjust to the light.

This might be only a temporal light sensitivity, but, in my case, it might be something called the Irlen Syndrome, because I have experienced some of those symptoms for most of my life.

Watch this space for more posts about this recovery.

Our Only True Desire

How do we actually know what our real desires are?

We want to feel good. Period.

No matter what else we think or believe that we want or don't want, by the end of the day, we just want to experience a pleasurable feeling in our body.

And it is an absolutely legitimate desire that every organism on this planet has consciously or unconsciously.

Even if we are not aware of this mostly we want something because we believe it will make us feel good.

Or we want some circumstance to change "for better". How do we know it will be better? We (often unconsciously) believe that the result of the changes we desire will make us feel good.

But where does this belief come from? Especially, if we never were in those new circumstances we desire to be in?

We imagine the ideal situation around it and get a glimpse of that good feeling in our gut we believe it would give us.

This is how our imagination, believed assumptions, and gut feeling are telling us what we want and what we don't.

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The Power Of Our Imagination

Right now, I am working on a translation of the book "The Power Of Awareness" by Neville Goddard.

In Chapter VII, there is this simple but very helpful story:

"One day, a costume designer described to me her difficulties in working with a prominent theatrical producer. She was convinced that he unjustly criticized and rejected her best work and that often he was deliberately rude and unfair to her.

Upon hearing her story, I explained that if she found the other rude and unfair, it was a sure sign that she, herself, was wanting and that it was not the producer, but herself that was in need of a new attitude.

I told her that the power of this law of assumption and its practical application could be discovered only through experience, and that only by assuming that the situation was already what she wanted it to be could she prove that she could bring about the change desired.

Her employer was merely bearing witness, telling her by his behavior what her concept of him was.

I suggested that it was quite probable that she was carrying on conversations with him in her mind which were filled with criticism and recriminations.

There was no doubt but that she was mentally arguing with the producer, for others only echo that which we whisper to them in secret.

I asked her if it was not true that she talked to him mentally, and, if so, what those conversations were like.

She confessed that every morning on her way to the theatre she told him just what she thought of him in a way she would never have dared address him in person. The intensity and force of her mental arguments with him automatically established his behavior towards her.

She began to realize that all of us carry on mental conversations, but, unfortunately, on most occasions, these conversations are argumentative... that we have only to observe the passerby on the street to prove this assertion... that so many people are mentally engrossed in conversation and few appear to be happy about it, but the very intensity of their feeling must lead them quickly to the unpleasant incident they themselves have mentally created and therefore must now encounter.

When she realized what she had been doing, she agreed to change her attitude and to live this law faithfully by assuming that her job was highly satisfactory and her relationship with the producer was a very happy one. To do this, she agreed that, before going to sleep at night, on her way to work, and at other intervals during the day, she would imagine that he had congratulated her on her fine designs and that she, in turn, had thanked him for his praise and kindness.

To her great delight, she soon discovered for herself that her own attitude was the cause of all that befell her.

The behavior of her employer miraculously reversed itself. His attitude, echoing as it had always done, that which she had assumed, now reflected her changed concept of him.

What she did was by the power of her imagination.

Her persistent assumption influenced his behavior and determined his attitude toward her.

With the passport of desire on the wings of a controlled imagination, she traveled into the future of her own predetermined experience.

Thus we see it is not facts, but that which we create in our imagination, which shapes our lives, for most of the conflicts of the day are due to the want of a little imagination to cast the beam out of our own eye."

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