Loads of Pondering

The last week has been full of deep pondering for me, as I am trying to figure out my path at least for the next couple of years.

I had my first couple of sessions as a life coach. Really loved them, and the clients seemed to feel much happier and be much more focused and productive after our conversations. One of them said: "This conversation made me very sad and joyful! (We worked with her grief.) It was positive!" The sessions are free for now. So, if you would like to figure out, if you and me are the right team to get you unstuck and move on in your life, feel free to contact me via e-mail: or on Facebook to schedule a trial session.

There are still many decisions to make, before my new business is launched, but I am working on it every day and most definitely moving forward. And my Soul Art piece is helping me a huge load. As some of you know, I started it 10 days ago. It has changed more or less every day since then, and this is how it looks now. I call her my inner Mother Goddess.

These are some of the phases it went through.

The Soul Art process has revealed to me so many things about me and the question I wanted to get the answer to! I would really love to become a Soul Art certified guide, but there are so many other techniques I want to learn and get certified at. Decisions, decisions... :)

One of them is about the place of fine art in my life in the next future. If it is meant to be a business, I have to work more on the commercial side of it. But where to get the time and energy for that, if I am launching a whole new other business already? If it stays just a hobby, I have to stop investing so much in it and, most probably, going to the public studio. The place of that studio in my life is unclear in general. The atmosphere is wonderful and the mentor is really inspiring and supporting! But, as he says, he has almost nothing to teach me, as he sees me as a mature artist. And working in the studio makes the creating process unnatural and pretty hard for me. As we live outside the town, it takes time and money to get there. Mostly, we have chores to do before the studio time and I arrive there tired already. And, then, I feel this pressure to paint even though I might not feel, what the painting wants, because that is the "studio time" and I have payed for it. After those 3 hours, I feel dead tired and, sometimes, not happy with what I have added to my work at all. Then, I have to get home and get back to the studio the next day for another 3 hours (still tired from the previous day), because those are the times it is open. What comes naturally to me, is living with a painting for the time it is being created and adding to it when I feel what it wants. Mostly, it takes me weeks and a huge number of short sessions to channel something to the canvas. Another thing I miss in the studio are my supplies. I love to have them all around me to pick the one that feels right at any given moment . It's impossible to take them all to the studio, as we don't have a car and my son has to carry them on his back. And it's such a stress every time to gather them and to predict what I could need over there... For now, I am still going to it to keep company to my son, who needs to prepare for the enrollment exams into the art school but doesn't feel confident enough in the town yet. Decisions, decisions...

A couple of weeks ago, I started the largest piece ever over there (100x80 cm), as usually, with a layer of collaged paper scraps. These are some of the stages it went through so far. It has loads of circles in it, and, at one point, I covered it almost completely with a layer of the Chalkboard spray from The Tattered Angels Paint System.

This is, how it looks right now and I have no idea, what it wants.

To be honest, I liked all the previous layers better, than the current one, but that is nothing new for my creative process, right? The piece might be next to being finished. :D

I know, I know, the post turned out pretty huge. I would really love to make many small posts instead, thought about it every day, but couldn't bring me to it. Have no idea why.

I would really appreciate your ideas and suggestions about my struggles in the comments here or as a private message via e-mail: or on Facebook.

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Giggles said...

Very pretty artwork!

"Do what you love, the money will come secondary!" "Thoughts become things." To quote a few!

Sounds like a lot on your plate. Keep your art as a hobby, sell what you can on the side.. Any artist marketing themselves will tell you it's all about marketing and little about creating. It's very tough and needs full dedication. I think you should have some of your art supplies in your midst....even if it's small canvases, and an art journal book, plus half your supplies in small containers!! I can't imagine not having that near!
Sometimes you just have to "Let go and let God"(whoever that is to you|) and the answers will come!!
All the best in your endeavors!!

Hugs Giggles

Tracey Fletcher King said...

This is a post full of some wonderful images... I like the softness of your work and you have a lovely sense of colour as well... xx

Gina said...

Your painting wants you to be free....You have spent "productive" time helping others, but you are letting yourself be trapped by the studio experience. I know you have to go with your son because of the travelling, but maybe the time would be more relaxing for you if you dropped him off and then went to do your chores?...your words already say what you want to do....
And I absolutely love your inner Goddess <3 XXX

Nicole Beadwright Campanella said...

Love your art. Congratulations on the new business. I agree, do what you love most and it will al fall into place.